Lungs suck for air but I can’t breathe can’t get a single gasp of oxygen – I can’t swim against or with the tide floundering in a sea of despair – fire under my feet scorching heels & callous till flesh chars & falls away – I can’t jump from the flames shackles bind me down – trace my footsteps in reverse – see how I ended up here because I don’t remember – remember watching hats & wondering why they were chosen for work today – remember people saying I don’t bite & thinking I do skin under teeth a smile in my eyes – remember saying no over & over but nobody listened left me stained in the mud & cold – I got even I always get even but it wasn’t enough I wanted to get ahead – I still want & want & want – fear choked my heart waking up in a white room with beeps & sounds of machines strapped to a bed with needles in my flesh to try & save my life – man in white asks who I am what’s my name – I don’t know an answer & the monitors start to skyrocket I know I should have an answer – but I do not & it scares me deep in the wells of my mind – my lips are cracked by death I cannot stop tearing at shredded flesh layer after layer.

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